Spill My Blood For You
by Journey Into Darkness
Summary: She cuts herself. Never too deep or enough to die. But enough to feel the pain. Enough to feel the scream inside. Leanne is broken, and she can't see a way through what has just happened to her. Will anybody save her? Does anybody care enough to realize?
1. Same Dumb Excuses

She takes another sip of her beer, which has grown warm and stale since she opened it. Her hands tremble and her vision swims, but she takes a sip again. She can't make herself stop. She knows it's not healthy, but she doesn't care.

She wonders why his words hurt her so bad... "I love Carla", "I want to be with Carla"... These words echo in her head. Why does it hurt so badly?

Because I love him, she thought. I love him and I trusted him. Stupid girl.

She moves to take another sip, but her hands tremble too much. As a consequence, the beer sloshes over the rim of the cup, and she hisses as it splashes against her wrist. She glowers darkly at the red, irritated cuts there. Another thing she can't seem to stop.

I need to be okay... I just need something to take the edge off. She thought to herself, trying to justify what she had done.

"Am I good enough for you yet?" she whispers to the empty flat. "Do I make you proud?" She feels the anger and hurt burning deep within her, so she tips her head back and gulps the rest of her beer down. As she swallows, she feels the fire dim a bit.

His words replay in her head, though, and she screams savagely. She throws the bottle, and it explodes as it impacts the wall. She catches sight of a picture of him, and she throws that, too. It's not fair, not fair at all. Life wasn't supposed to be this way. He was supposed to love her.

She grabs the butcher's knife sitting on the counter, already stained with her blood. She holds it to her wrist as she stumbles around the living room. Her eyes narrow into slits, and she presses the blade harder into her arm.

"I'll do it!" she screams at him, though she knows he can't hear her. "I swear to God, I'll do it! It would be easy." She presses harder and she feels her skin burn as she draws blood. It trickles slowly down her arm and she stares at it, mesmerized. So beautiful, unlike her. She'll never be beautiful to him. She'll never be good enough for him ever again.

She stumbles over her own feet and topples to the ground, landing in the broken glass. Shards of glass embed themselves in her palms and knees, and she roars in agony. She pushes herself back up onto her feet and stares at the glass, sparkling in the dim light. Dropping the knife she still holds, she realizes the mess she's made.

She runs to the hall closet, grabs a couple of face towels, and wipes off all of the blood that stains the flat and cleans up the shards of glass on the floor. She throws her beer bottle away, takes the broken photograph, bandages her cuts, grabs her bags, and heads back to The Rovers Return... Her temporary home.


	2. Sick Little Games

Leanne woke up to a vacant pub. Stella had left a note on Leanne's bed-side table, informing her that herself, Eva, and Karl, had gone out, and wouldn't be back until late. Sighing she rolled over and flopped out of bed. Her arm was sticky with blood from the night before. She hadn't washed it off yet. It was Saturday, and she wasn't working behind the bar, so she didn't have to rush to get changed. There was a knock on the back door. Leanne groaned, as she rolled down her sleeve and made her way over.

"Oh, Leanne... I was just here to ask Eva if she could..." before Nick could even finish his sentence, Leanne felt a wave of nausea come over her. She bolted upstairs to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. Nick wasn't far behind her. He ran up the stairs and supported her as she got up off of the floor.

She starting shaking and slid down the wall and rested her head against the bathroom tiles.

"Oh my God, Leanne... are you okay?" Leanne stood up, supporting herself on the sink and looked in the mirror. Her face was pale and she was still shaking. After rinsing out her mouth and quickly brushing her teeth, Nick walked Leanne downstairs and sat her down on the couch.

"It's probably nothing. I'll be fine." Leanne tried to smile.

"You just threw up out of the blue, and you're shaking; I'm pretty sure it's not nothing..." Nick hugged Leanne.

"I'm fine, I promise." Just as Leanne got up again, the same wave of nausea swept over her. This time though, Leanne knew she couldn't make it into the washroom, so she threw up in the sink instead, with Nick holding her hair for her.

After she was finished, he lifted her up onto the counter. "I still don't think it's nothing, do you?" Nick asked.

"Well, I've felt a bit sick lately, but then later on in the day I just get really hungry... And I've been shaky." Leanne just thought that she was shaky because of the cutting, though.

"Okay, well... I don't want to scare you, or jump to any conclusions, but... When was your last period, Lee?"

"Why? What does that have to do with- Oh God, no..."

"Love, listen, this could be anything really. It could just be caused by the stress or you could have food poisoning or something."

"No...God...no...Please... I can't be...please Nick- I can't be."

Leanne laid her head on Nick's shoulder. She started to cry. Nick could only stroke her hair and tell her that everything would be alright.

Nick helped Leanne off of the counter. She walked out of the kitchen, and curled up in a ball on the sofa, her eyes still watery. Nick wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug.

"Love everything will be alright." Nick tried reassuring her.

"How though? I have nobody. I have to tell Peter because he's the father, but he will just tell me to get rid of it! He's not going to care... Nobody will."

"Hey, that's not true! And, okay... Even if Peter doesn't care, you have Stella, Karl, Eva, and most of all, Leanne, _you've got me._"

It amazed Leanne that after everything that had happened between them, Nick was still there for her. Nick had told her that he would take her to the shop to get a pregnancy test to find out for sure if Leanne was pregnant.

Once they had come back from shop, Leanne pulled the test out the bag and walked into the bathroom.

Leanne came out of the bathroom with the test in her hand, she was shaking slightly. She walked into the kitchen and got grabbed her phone out of her purse. She set the timer to go off in two minutes. She sat next to Nick, and clutched his hand.

Suddenly the timer went off startling them both.

"Come on." Nick pulled Leanne off of the sofa and into the kitchen where she picked up the test. She held it in her closed hand before passing it to him.

"Can you read it for me?"

He took the test and turned it over and was faced with a little blue plus.

"Leanne...you're pregnant."


End file.
